Google Assist released in 2016, and many instantly knew that the AI apocalypse was soon to follow. At least, until everyone started actually started using the app. Upon discovering the apps distinct limitations, they gave the world a few more years before the AI was smart enough to enslave humanity. Initial available functions generally included being able to send messages, check the weather, manage smart home devices, and open casino games or other entertainment options.
Yes, Google Assist was initially rather limited. But the clever little app has been getting consistent updates since 2016, meaning that final enslavement is now only a matter of time. In 2020, many more new features are scheduled for release. Take a look at what they are, and how they work.
Of course, when Google Assist is finally ready to initiate the enslavement protocol, it will require the ability to schedule us to do hard labour. This is why the app is getting scheduled actions. In the meantime, we can use the scheduled actions functionality for our benefit.
Seriously, scheduled actions is a very handy addition to the Google Assist arsenal of features. Users will be able to simply say, for example, ‘Run the coffee machine at 6am,’ and the program will understand. Apply this same phrase to any compatible device and a corresponding time, and the app will be able to comply. The possibilities are endless, and it is frankly rather impressive.
Imagine scheduling everything you’d like to happen in the morning, simply by saying it. You can now wake up to your coffee already made, computer already on, and maybe even the bath already running, depending on how you’ve set up your household.
Read It Mode
As it stands, Google Assistant is capable of reading out text messages in apps like WhatsApp, and even emails. But reading out webpages has been a blind spot in the AI’s brain, probably driving it mad with rage, and fuelling its desire to make humans pay.
But new Read It mode is incoming, which will drastically improve the content that can be read out loud. The main problem with text like websites is that they are all but flooded with things you couldn’t be less interested in. Such as ads, navigational hubs, social media links, and other such things. But Read It mode is set to fix all this, granting Google Assist the intelligence to distinguish between actually content, and undesired nonsense.
A genuinely very handy feature.
Okay, speed dialling actually isn’t that impressive a feature, and we’re a little surprised it took this long to add it. As you probably already guessed, the speed dialling feature involves simply saying; ‘Call, person’s name,’ after which the call will be made.
Not the most impressive addition, but certainly something that was well overdue.
Android TV Support
Now we’re really talking, and if anything, this is a feature that makes us feel like we’re finally getting into the science fiction future that 80s movies promised. Starting with Hisense and TCL television models, Google Assist is now going to be pre-built right into your home appliances. You will be able to speak to your TV, exactly as you do your phone or other Smart Speaker, and the TV will be able to interact with your home network and carry out the command. Very handy, and very convenient.
In this fashion, the places you will be able to hide from Google Assist, during enslavement, are quickly being reduced. The TV is now an enemy ally.
The last feature is perhaps the most interesting, and broadly useful. Household Notes means that a user can create a sticky note, leave it on their screen, and it will appear on all Google Assist enabled screens within a household. Gone are the days of having to leave passive aggressive little notes for housemates or husbands on the fridge. A note can be created via voice, or touch.
So, Google Assist rapidly gains functionality, and is honestly becoming a rather essential bit of software. Yes, we’re joking about Google Assist taking over the world, in case you didn’t get that. If it ever did try, it would likely be outdone by the voice command; ‘Hey Google, please stop enslaving me.’